Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Burnt Out

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I am so burnt out on working! All I want to do is sleep late a couple of morning's and be able to do what I need to do during the day so that I dont have to do it on my lunch or after work. Does that sound lazy? I want to spend time with Kaylyn. She is very much going through a phase where she does not want to leave my side. At first I somewhat found it annoying but now I see that she really wants to spend time with me and I dont have enough time to spend with her. For example last night I got it a little after 8. She had already had her bath and was watching a movie. She asked if I wanted to play the Wii with her. I told her no that "Mommy is too tired." I fixed a small pizza for my supper and then before I knew it, it was 9 and time for her to go to bed. As I am putting her to bed I am feeling so guily that I didnt spend anytime with her and at the same time all I want is to go to bed. After she is in bed, I go clean the kitchen, check the blog world, take a shower and then I am in bed by 10:30 only to be back up by 5.

I want to spend time with my husband. Even last night we really didnt talk. He watched TV as I finished cleaning the kitchen and then after my shower when I go to get in bed he is already asleep ( he has no problem what so ever sleeping lol). I really just feel that I am not giving my family all the time they deserve. I am not saying anything about working moms, but I just dont want to be one of those mom's who never sees her kids. I want my family to know they are my first priority and how much I love them.

I am really hoping that my job with Mary Kay takes off. I would love to only do that out of my home. That way I can still be with Kaylyn but still have (hopefully) a steady income. Please pray that if this is God's will that this will happen.

Also, I have told some of my BF's but I dont know if I have posted it. I am sure you know that we just got back from the beach and we absolutely loved it. It was beautiful down there and I can completely look over the tourists. Well it just so happens there is a chance that we could move down there. We were visiting a manager friend of Kevin's that use to work here with Keving but was then transferred to the Wal-mart in Panama City. Well he has called Kevin with a job offer and I am not sure we are going to pass it up. However, I am really praying about this. Some things are clicking in my head about this whole thing. I am thinking maybe this is why our house hasnt sold yet. If it had we would have already to buy another one and if we were to move we would now have to sell it. Maybe this is God's timing...at least this is what I am hoping. I know it will be hard to leave my parents & Kevin's parents but this is a better job opportunity for Kevin and I really dont know if we can pass it up. Please pray about this as well...pray that God would give me a sign about this. Do I need to suck it up & stay here or step out on faith and move away from all I know? All of your prayers are greatly appreciated!

6 comments:

Ace

I don't want to give you bad advice, but when we were talking about moving here for Superman's job we went through the same thing. We didn't know if it was right to do, but every little detail was already falling into place. We took that as a God sign and went with it, and we couldn't be happier with our decision!

Jenn(ifer)

It isn't maybe this is God's timing..It IS! God has a plan...he's just ready for you to say, "Ok Take Over now..I'm done trying to man the controls!" LOL Its easier said than done...I KNOW THIS (i'm the worst at trying to man the controls)

Its hard when you want to spend time with your family & you can't. I know. I feel guilty most days that I'm missing out on valuable time withmy family. But...just make the most of your time with them when you do have time with them. I know you do! :)

Btw, where in FL would you possibly be moving?? *(if you wanna share..)

Michele

Must be something in the air today...I just posted a very similar blog....I'm thinking of you since I'm going through the same thing today.

Aunt of 14

Where is Panama City? Is that in FL? If it is, you will get to meet some BF's in person!! You know who lives down there... oh that will be fun for you both. But I agree, you need to think about it... I would say DO IT. If it doesn't work out you can always come back to your family. You may spend time in your future wondering what if... what if... and if this is a better opportunity for your hubby, maybe this means more time at home for you with your little girl. Im sorry if I sound scatter brained today. I AM scatterbrained today.

Jen

***HUGS*****
I guess I should be more thankful for my situation. I get to stay home and complain about it...
I hope that you can do what you truly want to do in the near future!!!
I'll say a prayer for you.

Ace

something for you on my blog today!

 
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