Friday, May 1, 2009

A Visitor

Friday, May 1, 2009
***Below is TMI that I want to share and it has to do with vomit, periods, pads, tampons & something between my legs. If you don't want to hear about it don't read it. I warned you!***

So as you know from my post last night that I have been sick. The 2 shots that I received yesterday was a antibiotic & steroid. So I took an Ambien and passed out by 8:30 last. I didn't want to get up this morning. All the way to work I felt so nauseated. In my head I was thinking maybe this is morning sickness but man did I want that feeling to go away. I was at the red light about half a mile from work and I was sitting there and it hit me like a wave...I thought oh no I am in the car. The lane I was in I was blocked from pulling over and there were cars on both sides of me so I did want to hurl out the window. Everybody would see and there are certain things I like to do behind closed doors or stalls lol!I looked around and I found the famous walmart bag. It didn't even have any holes! Jackpot! I emptied it out because it had one of Kaylyn's outfits in it. The light turned green so I kept driving & praying just let me get to work, just let me get to work especially since no one would be there...not at 7am. So I pulled in...and there sat one of our work vans! Damn! That means Ed is here...just what I want to do is blow past him and have to explain I am sick. So I turned into the parking lot on 2 wheels cuz let's just face it...I didn't know how much longer I could hold it. I grabbed my purse, walmart bag, coffee & keys and ran to the door. It was locked! I looked in to see the lights on and the alarm off. Woo hoo! I dint have turn the alarm off so that will save me some time but I did have to unlock 2 deadbolts before I could get it. I unlocked the doors and flung the door open threw my stuff in the middle of the floor in the office and sprinted to the bathroom. As I ran I noticed nobody was actually there (can I get another woo hooo!!!). I ran into the bathroom & well you know...threw up. I thanked God that I made it to the bathroom while thinking "it's been so long since I have thrown up and how much I hate it!"

When I was pregnant Kaylyn I had THE BEST pregnancy you could have. I was never sick. I had no morning sickness at all. The only thing I complained of was being tired. I ate everything in sight (it shows on my a$$). But now I am very worried that the next pregnancy will be me & the toilet becoming best of friends! I hope not but we will see.

I brushed my teeth and came out to the office. Still there wasn't anybody there...fine with me. After a few mins my stomach really started cramping. Hmmm...I thought. Sure enough I started my period. So I guess that means I am not pregnant. It was a very unexpected visitor. I never know when I am going to start. I am one of those irregular people that either had a period every 2 weeks or months whenever the hell it wants to show up. Honestly it's been almost 3 months since I had my last one. So I guess I am due. So now I am thinking that my throwing up has something to do with my period. Who knows with my crazy body!

***Warning...TMI ahead*** I warned you!!!***

So I go to my purse to get a tampon. Ugh oh! I didn't have one....I usually always have some. What to do. There are only 2 women that work in my office and 1 is me & the other has already had a complete hysterectomy so she was no good to me. I looked under the cabinet in the bathroom and "hallelujah, hallelujah" there was ONE big, thick (super absorbency) maxi pad (looked like one from the 90's if you want my opinion) underneath. So I normally use tampons but for one day I can deal with this...but I couldn't because as I was opening the pad I remember I had on THONGS! Yup, thongs that day. Needless to say I am blaming that on my hubby and I am cussing him at the same time (see this post)! Well I thought I am just going to have to make this work. So I place the big, thick pad onto my panties/thongs and noticed obviously the bottom of the pad was going to hang over some. Yup it did. So I pulled up my panties and "adjusted" them. Of course the pad had to adjust to and it was too big for the "thong" part so it did hang to the left. I sucked it up and headed back to my desk.

As I was walking to my desk I noticed that every time I put my left foot forward the "sticky" part of the pad stuck to my left leg and then would peel off as I put my right food forward. So every time I took a step it felt like someone was ripping a band aid off of my left inner thigh between my legs. Maybe it will "wax" my inner thigh & that is less I have to shave lol! This morning I made my mind up that I wouldn't be at work that long today because I wasn't feeling well anyway so I knew I could deal with the "ripping the band aid off" feeling for a little while. Well I ended up staying until 3!

No, my day doesn't end there...what fun would that be. I came home & took a shower to get that "feeling" to go away. Then I notice I don't have any tampons here! It has been so long since I have had my period I forgot to pick up some more. I did have some pantyliners. So needless to say I felt like it was granny pantie time! I put them on and the pantyliner fit perfect. I then call my hubby at work. He told me to make it quick because he had a couple of things to get done. I asked him how much he loved me. He said more than the whole planet. I said good...you can pick me up some tampons. He said aw man no sex tonight. I asked him whatever gave him that clue...I hope you are catching my sarcasm, besides I am sick! He said fine asked what kind and said he would see me later. You know I have to admit he is a good one. I know I can ask him to pick up tampons and he will. That pretty much completed my day!

I hope you all had a better day!

10 comments:

Aunt of 14

LOL You cracked me up with the big thick pad on thongs!! And the sticky part on your inner thigh-- I couldn't stop laughing, thanks for sharing!!!

Personally, I am a pad gal. I cannot stand tampons. I don't like feeling like I have something feeilng me up all day long, so I am a very thin Always pad user. With wings and everything. I guess some people are padgals and others are not.

You're lucky to have a wonderful husband, teehee I hope you feel better quick.

dmelen

Not to laugh at your bad day, but it was funny. Thanks for sharing.

Ace

I'm laughing so hard at the band-aid sound! I can totally picture it because it's something I would do! Sorry I'm laughing at your expense (and I really do hope you're feeling better) but I needed that!

Danita

That is too funny! Great post!!

Belle's Blog

Hoping you have a better day tomorrow and are feeling much better! Hugs from Bama!

Tinika

LMBO!! Way too funny. But I only laugh because I have so been there.

I hope tomorrow is better for you!

Gracie

Friend, You deserve SOMETHING for that! Great post. Hope you're feeling better =)

Serenity

OMG You know I love you to pieces but that was funny!I am sorry you are "riding the crimson wave" though...I always wish I was pregnant at that time of the month! (((HUGS)))

Jen

OH MAN! The story just got better and better!!!! Hope your days have been better since.

ben and erin

i don't know HOW i missed this post! holy cows that was so funny. well except for the throw up part. i hate that too. i can't believe that you made it to the bathroom... i probably would've hurled in the parking lot!

ugh! i love how sensitive husbands are and willingly give up their sexual needs... hehe.. at least he got you tampons!

 
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