American Idol

So I was wondering...who out there watches American Idol? I have been....and I must say that I really like Scott MacIntyre. I think its because I really want him to suceed even though he has a handicap. I really like him. That is who I am voting for. Yes, he is safe too!

Tonight though Jasmine was voted off. The judges didnt save her either. I really didnt think they would. She is so young she can still come back and try it again. I did feel bad for her though.


Ok...in the bottom now is Anoop and Jorge. I really want Anoop to stay. I think he has a great voice but just didnt pick a good song last night. We will see.

Who is going home:
Whoop, Whoop for Anoop. He is staying!

Wordful Wednesday's!

I have joined another blog carnival over at Seven Clown Circus. Angie does a Wordful Wednesday because she always has something to say about her posts. I as well cannot just post a picture and not explain. Head on over to Seven Clown Circus to see more Wordful Wednesday's!


For the fun of it Kaylyn "fish's" at my parents house. Not really though. They have a little fishing pole that has a silver weight at the end of it. She will sit on the side of their cement wall and throw & reel it in for hours. It is so funny. She has a blast. Hey...it's cheap fun!

Beautiful Day

It is such a pretty day outside. I didnt go to work today because Kaylyn has been sick. To read about that see this post. It's suppose to be close to 80 degrees today. I took this picture earlier.

If you can read it from the glare but it was 70degrees this morning when I went to grab some breakfast. I love this kind of weather. Kevin is even outside cutting the grass. I wish Kaylyn was feeling better because I would love to take her to the park or something. She is such an outside girl. Well how is the weather where you are?

Trip to the ER

Well it all started when I got a call from my MIL. She called me about 3:45 and wanted to tell me that Kaylyn was having trouble breathing. Kaylyn got on the phone and talked to me for a few mins. She told me she wanted me to take her to the doctor. She never asks to go to the doctor so I really thought she was sick. So I go on home. Once I got there she was struggling for air...not bad but she was. My MIL also told me that a few mins before I got there that Kaylyn was balled up on the couch complaining of her stomach hurting. She went to the bathroom but didnt have to go. She said that lasted about 10 maybe 15 mins. After that passed she was fine. Anyway she was having some trouble breathing so I decided to take her to the ER. It was close to 5 so the doctors were already closed.

I get to the ER and let them know that she is having trouble breathing so they take her own back. They said that her O2 level was down so she was definately not getting enough air. She was also wheezing. The doctor came in after a little while and listened to her. He told us that he was going to have her do a breathing treatment and see how she sounds afterwards. After he left the room (of course) she doubled over again and started complaining of her stomach. She was telling me it hurt so bad. She was crying. After a few mins the nurse came in to administer the breathing treatment. I told her about her stomach and she said she would tell the doctor. After a few more mins Kaylyn was fine. No pain and she was up running around the room. She did the breathing treatment and that lasted about 20mins or so. The nurse came back in and tried to give her some liquid steroids. Well Kaylyn has a gag reflex to where if she doesnt like it she will make herself gag and it comes back up. So of course she didnt like this medicine and up it came. Not to sound selfish but my new laptop was in front of her so that she could watch The Little Mermaid. As she starts to throw up I dont want it all over my computer so I catch it all in my hand. Sorry if that is too much. I was able to move the laptop over with my elbow so it was in the clear. However, Kaylyn kept throwing up & throwing up. I thought she was never going to stop. Kevin brought in some clothes we had in the car. She put on the new pants but we didnt have a shirt so she just wore a jacket. After that the doctor came in he listened to her and said that she was 100% better. No wheezing and that her airways were opened up all the way. He said that she is ready to go home. I asked for her diagnosis. He said that he wasnt going to her diagnos her with asthma. I have that myself so I really have been concerned. He said that she had an upper respiratory infection. That is where her cough is coming from which in return was making her wheeze. I asked if she needed to take the steroids that they tried to give her. He said no...that since she cleared up with just one breathing treatment then she would be just fine without it. So we gathered everything and and left.

Since it was about 8:30 I decided I am not cooking so we thought we would go by and grab something quick at Full Moon BBQ. We ordered and sat down and waited for our food. Kaylyn sipped on her sprite . After a few mins she started complaining of her stomach hurting again. Shortly after our food came. I fixed her ketchup for her fries. She was laying down in the booth beside me. I was rubbing her back and seeing if she wanted anything to eat. She said no her stomach was hurting too bad to eat. I knew she was sick because Kaylyn does not pass up french fries. So I started eating and kept rubbing her back. She closed her eyes and somewhat (I think) went to sleep. After a minute or two I looked over at her and she was lying on her back but at the same time she was throwing up again. I turned her head so that she wouldnt choke and it went all over her and then all over me. She sat up in the booth and kept throwing up. After a minute or so she started dry heaving. I really felt bad for her but also the guy that was eating in the booth behind us. She wouldnt stop so we decided to just leave so everyone didnt have to hear or see her throwing up. As I was getting her out of the boothe the guy behind me asked if she was ok. I quickly explained that she had been sick but we thought she was over it (obviously not) and I kept apologizing to him. Thank you God that he was very nice about it and said that all that mattered was that she was ok. I still feel a little bad that he had to witness this while he was eating.

We got her home with no throw up in the car (I am very happy about this) and got her in the tub. Gave her a bath and washed her hair. After that she seemed to be fine. She played and played. I gave her very little gingerale because I didnt know if it would stay down. It did and after a little while she went to bed. She slept great.

She is doing much better. She got up asking for something to eat. I fixed her some biscuits and she ate them and drank some gingerale and seemed to be fine. I did keep her out of school which means I stayed home from work (as if I minded lol!). She has been playing all morning and hasnt vomitted yet. I am hoping she is in the clear. She still has the cough but I am hoping it will get better soon.

Work? Huh?

Let's just say that I have been at work since about 8am this morning and I havent really done anything constructive. I have done nothing but blog stalk all day long. There were a few times that I handled somethings that "came" up but other than that I have been blogging all day! I keep telling myself after I read this blog I will start to work...nope that never happens. Do you ever get in that "Blah" mood where you really dont want to do anything? I do...I have been in it all week. However, I got several things accomplished last week, but this week aint looking so hot lol! To top it off I normally get out at 5 but I may leave around 4 or 4:30 cuz I am just so darn bored.

I have been following Serenity's blog. She has had some major struggles/battles and are still facing some of them. Go over to her page and let her know you are thinking about her. Read her story...so far it is amazing. She is so honest & truthful. I really admire her.

No sleep tonight

I think it is something about Sunday nights and that is why I dont sleep. Or it could be that I slept till 12:30 this afternoon! I think it was around 10:30 when we went to bed last night. I ended up taking some of my asthma medicine that how a drosiness effect. I slept really good last night. My mom called around 8:30am and wanted to take Kaylyn to church. I said sure. That would give me a chance to go back to bed (as if I really needed too). So she came and got Kaylyn and I did go back to bed. I ended up waking up a couple of times but was so lazy that I just went back to sleep again. My mom called me around 12:30 to ask me something so she is the one that actually got me out of bed. I wonder what time I would have slept to if she hadnt called? Anyway, I scarfed down a bowl of cereal and headed down to my parents. I got their and found my daughter outside waiting on the ice cream man. I went inside to find my brother's girlfriend. I really like her. I hope things work out for them.

Anway, after the ice cream man came we ate our ice cream and chit chatted with each other. Then we ran to Wal-mart to pick up a few things for supper. After we got back since it was such a beautful day I decided to go wash my car. Not me personally washing it...a drive through car wash. It was kind of neat (keep in mind that it doesnt take much to amuse me). This one was new and all you had to do was drive up to it and put the car in Neutral and it did the rest. It led you through. It kind of freaked me out though because it was in total control...not me. Once you get through they have a vacuuming section that was free. I vacuumed out my car and it turned out pretty good. You know it's dirty when you take it for a tire rotate & balance and the guy there comments on its dirtyness. Yes, I know its dirty thank for pointing it out you jerk! But I do have to say the carwash did really well. My car looks so clean!

After that we came home & had supper. My brother got home from work so we ate as a family. Shortly after that I had to leave. Kaylyn is staying with my MIL tonight because of Kevin's work schedule so I had to run by the house and get her backpack & other junk that she "has" to have. I dropped her off with my MIL and came on home. Of course it's Sunday night so 2 of my shows come on tonight. Desperate Housewives & Brothers & Sisters. I love those shows. I had them DVR'd so I got to fast forward all the commercials. Anyways, here I am close to 1am and I am not in the bed yet. I guess I am just not that tired. But I am fixing to head off to bed:) At least try and get some sleep.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

A Baby

Ladies...or men. Dont know who is out there reading this. I am going to be brutally honest tonight. I am really feeling this so I wanted to get it out. I really, really want another baby. Not that this matters but Kaylyn is now five and I do want another child...maybe two. I think its time. What is holding me back you ask? My weight! My weight is holding me back from everything. I feel like it is smothering me. Like I cant get ahead. If anyone can do the math you will know that I weigh over 200lbs (something I am not proud of) and there is no way that I could have a baby at my weight. My hubby said why not? Just go ahead and get it over with and then worry about my weight after I have the baby. I cant do that for several reasons.

1. I am not at a healthy weight so if I were to get pregnant I would put on that much more weight that has to come off after the baby. My first pregnancy I gained close to 70lbs...if I do that again I will weigh over 300lbs by the time I am done. I cant do that.
2. I know that at my weight now I would be a great gestational diabetes candidate. I dont need that. I am already in line for that my...mother has it and so does both of my grandmothers.
   
3. Plus that would cause that much more stress on the baby. I couldnt knowingly put the baby in that position.
   

With all these reasons I know that its just not going to happen. Now is the struggle. This is the reason I want to lose the weight so bad. And forgive me but I am one of those instant gratification people. I like to see immediate results and that is just not happening. I know that isnt the way it goes but that is how I have always been.

Everytime I see someone with a baby I just get so upset. I know I shouldnt but I do. I just want one. It seems like everyone is having a baby and I am being left out. I know that is stupid but that is what my mind keeps thinking. Plus I have a cousing that just gave birth a couple of months ago and for some reason I got so upset. Dont get me wrong. I was happy for her but at the same time I was upset. Now I have another cousin that is having a baby and for the same reason this is bothering me too. I know I just need to suck it up and work towards loosing the weight.

I have all the strategies worked out in my head but I never act on them. I can go to the gym here and eat this...but I never do. I always stay in my same routine. Tonight for instance. I have been feeling sorry for my crazy self. We had mexican for dinner and then afterwards (just a few mins ago) I sat down to "blog" and watch tv. Instead I fixed myself a strawberry shortcake with whip cream and enjoyed every minute of it. I even contemplated on fixing myself another one...but I didnt. Lately I have been so down on myself.

As I said before my weight is consuming my life. It is all I think about and starting to drive me crazy. I talked to my hubby the other night and he just didnt understand why it was so important. He doesnt understand why I am not happy with myself when he is happy with me. He just doesnt understand it. Please pray for me. Please pray that I will get out of this funk and stop worrying about it so much. I want to lose this weight, I dont want it to be all talk. Once and for all I want to show everyone that I can do it!

I am sorry this post is here & there but I was trying to get it all off my chest.